ROASTMYRÉSUMÉ
Paste your résumé. Get the brutally honest recruiter read most companies will never give you.
CHOOSE YOUR LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
How honest are we being?
All three are useful. One just comes with a fire extinguisher.
THAT WAS THE FIVE-SECOND READ
Want the 20-year recruiter read?
I’m Rachel Hopper Grassi. I’ve spent more than 20 years in recruiting, including nearly a decade across Google and Meta and leading hiring across UFC, WWE, PBR and IMG.
I’m also a professional poker player. Poker and hiring are both games of incomplete information. You read the signals, evaluate the evidence and decide whether the story matches the hand being represented. That gives me an edge in spotting the hiring bluff, seeing what recruiters will question and helping you play the strongest career hand you actually have.
I don’t just rewrite résumés. I show you why you’re being overlooked, find the strongest hand you have to play and position you as the candidate they actually choose.
Book a Discovery Call ↗“You do not need another résumé rewrite. You need to know why you are being overlooked.”
This tool critiques résumé content, structure and positioning only. It does not evaluate personal characteristics, identity or protected information. Remove contact details and other sensitive information before pasting. The roast is career feedback with jokes, not a hiring decision or guarantee.